It’s a beautiful day to save lives, except for Derek Shepherd’s

ABC promised that last night’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy would be one America would never forget, and they were right.

via ABC

via ABC

Last night’s episode titled “How to Save a Life” was named after a song that has been pivotal for this long running fan favorite.

The episode started with Derek doing what he does best, saving people. This time, on his way to the airport to step down on his brain mapping initiative in D.C. he encountered a terrible car accident. After saving those involved, he was blind sighted literally by a tractor trailer.

From here on out, Derek cannot talk. We only hear him narrate what is going on at some random hospital that is far from the level 1 trauma center that Grey Sloan Memorial is. He tells us that everything these doctors are doing are wrong, and that he knows he’s going to die.

This week online, rumors were flying that McDreamy would be leaving the show. He was accused of being a diva just like Katherine Heigl who played Dr. Izzie Stevens.

If your a television fanatic like myself, you know that Patrick Dempsey, along with all of the original cast members of Grey’s signed a 2 year contract at the end of season 10. When I read the rumors, I knew that he was signed on for another season, but a contract can be broken.

As I watched the man who used to be Derek Shepherd disappear in front of my eyes, I felt sick. I had a pit in my stomach and felt like I was going to throw up. It was terrible watching Derek on life support. I knew what Meredith would do. The two made a pact that if anything were to happen, they would not like their life continued with the aid of machines.

“You were like coming up for fresh air. It’s like I was drowning and you saved me. It’s all I know.” – Derek Shepherd

By this point, I was crying. And by crying, I mean in full hysterics. I was rocking back in forth. I tried to text my mom. She proceeded to make fun of me. I know Grey’s Anatomy is just a tv show, but at this point, it feels like the characters are my friends.


I know that I am not alone. I know thousands of other people are just as upset including my aunt and grandma. #TearsofGreys.

If you know Grey’s like I do, you would have recognized the music featured in the episode. “Today has been ok” was played twice in this episode. It has been featured on the show twice before, most known from the episode “Into You Like A Train”. The episode ended with a somber version of “Chasing Cars”, which any diehard fan would know played in the season 2 finale when Izzie refused to leave Denny’s body.

I cried. And I cried, and I cried. I needed Xanax to stop. Yes I did just say I had to medicate myself. I know it’s a tv show, but a part of me feels empty.

I have no shame. My mascara ran all the way down my face. #TearsofGreys

I have no shame. My mascara ran all the way down my face. #TearsofGreys

As the preview for next week’s episode appeared, I knew that the life of everyone at Grey Sloan Memorial would forever be changed. For the most part, each character has their own unique relationship with Derek Shepherd. I wonder if Derek’s little sister Amelia will turn back to drugs. I wonder if Meredith is going to turn into Ellis, but that’s just something I have to wait and see.

In the beginning of the episode, Derek said his catch phrase, “It’s a beautiful day to save lives”, unfortunately, it just wasn’t a beautiful day for him.

Rest in peace McDreamy. I’ll love you forever.

1966 – 2015